updatttte.

Mon, 06 Feb 2006 18:24:03 GMT

so..everything sucks. i'm tired of going
from boy to boy. honestly is it that hard
to love me? seriously. every guy i want a long
relationship with ends a week later. i'm so sick
of it. i want to be in love again. i want to
be able to trust a guy again. right now i'm pretty
much done with guys. the only one even worth talking
to is tyler. but he'll probably just end up like they
all do..a complete lying asshole. chris and i broke up.
he said it was cause we would have broken up anyways.
and that his heart changed. apparently his emotions are
crazy. i'm stil pissed. i liked him a lot. what the
fuck ever though. he's just another guy. i can't wait
for saturday. i'm gonna mosh my ass off. & find a new
guy for phylicia. she deserves to be happy even if
i'm not. i'm miserable. my medicine isn't working or something.
i haven't smiled all day. i barely ate anything. i keep hoping
that chris will change his mind and want me back.
i'm pathetic i know. my weekend sucked. i sat at home by
myself minus phylicia coming over. thank god for her. i need
a job. i have nothing to do with my time anymore. no boyfriend.
no weekend plans. since my best friend works every weekend.
idk. corey was supposed to pick me up yesterday but dicked me
over. so whatever. i feel like i have no friends left and that
my world is falling apart. i guess i just have to try and
be optimistic and hope that things will get better.
my OCD has gotten worse to the point where it controls my life.
i'm gonna goto my phsyciatrist saturday morning so ill talk to
him about it. i think i'll make a list actually. cause i'm not
good at remembering things. but yes i need help. i just want
to be normal. why the fuck does all this bad shit happen to me?
honestly i'm fucking cursed. my life has sucked. for no reason.
i didn't even do anything to deserve this. oh well. maybe i'm
just being pessimistic cause everything sucks right now.
all i asked was love me.
thats not too much is it?

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 19:45:32 GMT

im getting tired of this shit.

you're way awesomer then me. ps.

Mon, 27 Jun 2005 05:50:01 GMT

I Love [ Dustin Miller ] More Then He Loves Me!!!!

<3 x infinity. plus 5 whatever you say.

Look how pretty she is when she falls down

updatttte.

you're way awesomer then me. ps.