| updatttte. |
[06 Feb 2006|01:16pm] |
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mood |
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so..everything sucks. i'm tired of going from boy to boy. honestly is it that hard to love me? seriously. every guy i want a long relationship with ends a week later. i'm so sick of it. i want to be in love again. i want to be able to trust a guy again. right now i'm pretty much done with guys. the only one even worth talking to is tyler. but he'll probably just end up like they all do..a complete lying asshole. chris and i broke up. he said it was cause we would have broken up anyways. and that his heart changed. apparently his emotions are crazy. i'm stil pissed. i liked him a lot. what the fuck ever though. he's just another guy. i can't wait for saturday. i'm gonna mosh my ass off. & find a new guy for phylicia. she deserves to be happy even if i'm not. i'm miserable. my medicine isn't working or something. i haven't smiled all day. i barely ate anything. i keep hoping that chris will change his mind and want me back. i'm pathetic i know. my weekend sucked. i sat at home by myself minus phylicia coming over. thank god for her. i need a job. i have nothing to do with my time anymore. no boyfriend. no weekend plans. since my best friend works every weekend. idk. corey was supposed to pick me up yesterday but dicked me over. so whatever. i feel like i have no friends left and that my world is falling apart. i guess i just have to try and be optimistic and hope that things will get better. my OCD has gotten worse to the point where it controls my life. i'm gonna goto my phsyciatrist saturday morning so ill talk to him about it. i think i'll make a list actually. cause i'm not good at remembering things. but yes i need help. i just want to be normal. why the fuck does all this bad shit happen to me? honestly i'm fucking cursed. my life has sucked. for no reason. i didn't even do anything to deserve this. oh well. maybe i'm just being pessimistic cause everything sucks right now. all i asked was love me. thats not too much is it?
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2 __ comment.
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[28 Jul 2005|03:44pm] |
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im getting tired of this shit.
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comment.
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